The Empowering Yourself Podcast - More Power to You ! - Carlo Moschetta and Andre Rehse
How can we actually live an authentic and more fulfilling life? The Empowering Yourself Podcast series, aim at inspiring and discovering what authenticity and being true to oneself really mean in practical everyday life. Do you respect yourself by embodying all that you are? Join us to learn more and More Power to You !
The Empowering Yourself Podcast - More Power to You ! - Carlo Moschetta and Andre Rehse
Beyond Your Comfort Zone: Facing Fears as tools for Growth & Self-Discovery - with Carlo Moschetta and Journalist and Adventurer Malte Clavin
Welcome to Episode 4 of The Empowering Yourself Podcast!
In this episode we embark on an extraordinary journey of authenticity and self-discovery with Malte Clavin, a remarkable individual who has made it his mission to live beyond the ordinary.
As a journalist, photographer, adventurer, consultant, keynote speaker, and musician, Malte shares his unique insights into the art of living authentically by stepping outside comfort zones and embracing fear as a catalyst for growth.
Fear often stems from past experiences and societal pressures, manifesting physically and emotionally. However, by facing fear rather than avoiding it, we can begin to dissolve its power over us. Malte shares personal anecdotes about common fears, like stage fright, and how acknowledging and challenging these fears can lead to empowerment and authenticity - truly living one's life.
This exploration encourages and gives practical tips to listeners to identify their fears and start exploring ways to confront and overcome them, ultimately leading to a more authentic existence.
Being authentic also involves exposing ourselves and our vulnerabilities establishing genuine connection with others. By embracing both positive and negative experiences, including exposing one's all-time low, (ATL) individuals can forge genuine connections with their audiences. This exploration underscores that authenticity involves sharing not just successes but also failures and challenges, offering insights for those seeking to implement real change in their lives.
Malte reminds us and highlights the significance of connecting with one's true self using our own internal compass or in Malte’s words: the Soul-O-Meter, which we all posses.
In this episode, we also discuss the distinction between wealth as an enabler and the pursuit of true fulfilment and how building supportive networks is crucial for personal growth and fulfilment. Practical steps for fostering self-awareness and genuine satisfaction include connecting with like-minded individuals and engaging in enriching activities. Malte shares personal experiences with mastermind groups, illustrating the power of collaboration and shared learning in maintaining momentum when applying new skills in familiar environments.
As we conclude this inspiring episode, we hope that Malte's journey serves as a reminder that fear can be transformed into a powerful ally, leading to an authentic connections with oneself and consequently a fulfilling life.
We hope you enjoyed this episode and as always Power To You !
Contacts: www.malteclavin.com/en/
Send us a message and let us know your thoughts, we'd love to hear from you!
We will upload at least one new podcast episode per month. Should you wish to get in touch on Instagram: @carlo.coach.berlin.portugal
Thank you and see you soon!
Carlo & Andre
My name is Carlo, I'm in my life 4.0 and this is my podcast. It is about empowering people and authenticity, and I hope it will be entertaining too, because hopefully it will inspire you to be more yourself, so more power to you.
Andre:And my name is André. I'm a filmmaker and science journalist. I got intrigued by Carla's idea and we joined forces to bring to you this humble podcast. This time, at the Empowering Yourself podcast, we have a guest which is a little out of the ordinary, to say the very least. Malte Klavien is a journalist, a photographer, adventurer, consultant, keynote speaker and musician. Malte's path to authenticity is all about venturing beyond comfort zones and embracing fears, and how that can lead to profound self-discovery. When I heard this conversation for the first time, I was fascinated by Maltese insights. For example, you learn what an all-time low is and how to overcome it. I hope you can take as much from this conversation as Carlo and I did. Don't miss this inspiring episode. Enjoy.
Carlo :Hello everyone and welcome for yet another episode of the Enjoy more Today. I'm so happy you had the chance to have some time for us and discussing and unraveling the concept of authenticity. So before we start, can you give us a little bit of who you are, what you do, and then we can go right into it?
Malte :Yeah, happy to do so.
Malte :So, on one hand, I work as a journalist and I'm specialized in adventure and extremes, so I love to go to the jungle, I love to go to the desert, I love to go into the ice half naked, I love to dive under the ice, I love just like, like to go outside of my comfort zone in order to challenge myself.
Malte :So and also, uh, not only just like to enjoy it, also to write it down and so to help myself in this kind to better sort what I have experienced and put it on my website, which is like to me, like an open diary, okay, and where I can expose it to anyone who might be interested in this.
Malte :And I do this also for magazines. I'm very happy to be part of an editorial team of, meanwhile, six people where we not only have our own online nature travel adventure outdoor magazine, which is read in more than 180 countries, where we also produce storytelling campaigns for all kinds of destinations like Ecuador maybe soon Madagascar and many, many other countries which I really love and I love to travel. I love to put myself into this kind of experiential state, not necessarily always in in a kind of personal challenge, but I I'm very happy to more often do it with my wife, so then it's like a shared experience. So this is one hand, is it's what I call like it's the, let's say, adventurous malta, the I I need to be on a very, very long leash because I saw you have adventure.
Carlo :You have a speaker on your website.
Malte :There's many sides of you yeah, somehow that's the case, because I found out I am not only one person, I am many, and all of these people, they all of these, uh, in parliament, as I call it they need a certain kind of love and attention, and they need as well a kind of meta-moderator who then shares the energy and the attention between all of those.
Malte :So, on the other hand, I still work since more than 25 years now, as a management consultant and I helped more than I supported more than 40 different digital transformation projects in 12 countries mainly it's Germany and I'm active in all kinds of rules like, uh, yeah, ensuring mainly any kind of progress, any kind of result. So, and I've been active there and will be active in other rules and you know, in when we just like overlap these two circles, then in the middle there's something what I would call like speaking, because it's the things I was allowed to experience during my adventures. This could be quite an interesting impulse for any kind of management levels, board member levels, whatever employee levels. So somehow, in the end, become a better person and somehow also to make a better job.
Carlo :So basically okay, so let me see if I got it right. So you said, when I go for my personal quest and I push my limits and I want to, you know, go outside my comfort zone, and we know, we all know and all the listeners out there know that it's not that easy, but that's where we learn. When we go outside, we learn outside our comfort zone. So then you do that's not that easy, but that's where we learn. When we go outside, we learn outside a comfort zone. So then you do that, you experience that, but then you your experience, you recollect it together and then you are able to spread it and share it in your consultancy job and everything. So then you can share the experience exactly so it's made.
Malte :It's. It's best feasible when I write about it in my articles, when I when you can see it in the imagery. So I am the guinea pig myself who you know goes into a glacier lagoon in Iceland or who's diving under under the ice in Finland.
Carlo :You did under the ice, like Wim Hof. That's crazy.
Malte :Yes, yes, I also learned the Wim Hof. That's crazy. Yes, I also learned the Wim Hof method. I saw on your website. You win there. I met Wim Hof. I had a little chat. He's a super inspiring person, oh my God. Yes, yes. So I put myself into a role as a guinea pig and you know, articles are the best way to somehow to me, to digest what I've experienced and to somehow distill some key learnings and then expose it to whomever would like to read it or whatever. So in consultancy it's a little bit different because mainly you have a program, you have clear targets, but when it comes in this kind of consultancy work, clear targets, but when it comes in this kind of consultancy work, in in in a certain kind of like in a coaching situation. This is also very helpful because you have sometimes you know this is many of my challenges are about personal and body stress, because when you go into a very cold, icy environment, the body feels stress. There's a lot of stress hormones exposed.
Carlo :And that feeling is very authentic.
Malte :It is it is Because there's nothing more truthful and authentic than what your body tells you Okay, yes, yes, yes. And it's sometimes, in some situations, very helpful, when I get into a coaching situation with any kind of supervisor, to only, if I'm asked to give any kind of support or hint how to better deal with the situation or how to better cope with the situation.
Carlo :And how would you explain that under the hood of authenticity of being yourself, because it sounds like all your experiences are experiences that allow yourself to be more in touch with who you are. Yes, exactly so. What is authenticity for Malte in your life? Exactly so, what is?
Malte :authenticity for Malte in your life. I think authenticity to me is being myself, exposing myself, talking to you right now, without wearing any kind of mask, without trying to meet any kind of expectation of expectation. So, and I think the most important indicator is the inner feeling. How do you feel about the situation? Are you really feeling, do I really feel comfortable about it? Right, when I start to feel any kind of disturbing feeling, like stress or anything, and you feel it in your body, I feel it in my body. You know, Is there any specific anything? And you feel?
Carlo :it in your body. I feel it in the in my body. You know, this is there in a specific location, that you feel it or no.
Malte :So you just sense this, this, yes, I think, because it's very physical, because kind of stress hormones will be exposed and you just like, feel it. You feel, uh, that you start to sweat. You feel maybe it's, you feel maybe your throat is getting more and more narrow, you know, and your voice changes. Yeah, because the fight and flight syndrome will be activated and you want to flee the situation. Right, because you want to get the heck out of here, because you know it could be threatening, right, and this is a kind of disturbing feeling and I think this is a very important indicator. So, when you feel this kind of stress, then you are not authentic anymore, because some, some things has been triggered in that situation and that causes some kind of disturbing feeling. And this disturbing feeling I like that.
Malte :It's a very interesting indicator to go into introspection and to look okay, something happened. I think it could be really valuable to take the magnifier glass and to have a look at it. Fantastic, why did it happen? Fantastic, yes, why do I? What is it when your skin gets red?
Carlo :Yeah, you have a rush. Why do I? What is it when your skin?
Malte :gets red. Why did I flush? Why did I flush in a certain situation? Why this Right, right, right, you know why, if you're sitting in a meeting and you know, and maybe then you have to speak up and then you don't feel comfortable in that moment, and that might have a cause that somehow has its origin somewhere in the past and maybe it could be like a personal topic that it's worth to have a look at and not trying to avoid it. It's mainly, mostly, it is connected with fear. So this is one Tell us more.
Malte :This is super interesting, yes, so it's about fear, because I think fear is one of the most interesting signals in our life, because whenever we feel fear, we have learned to beat on it. Try to prevent it, to mask it, not to show that you are full of fears, to mask it. Do you know? The fear always has empowered you, but you try not to be lose your face.
Malte :How can the fear okay, I see, because you put the mask on yeah, and then you have different tools that you try to delegate this kind of fear to another person. Or you say it's not on me, it was somebody else's fault. You try to re-delegate the fear. Or you try to encompass and you try to re-delegate the fear, or you try to encompass and you try to bypass it. If you're going along the office in the Yale and there's any kind of supervisor or manager you don't like, you try to escape the situation Right, so you avoid the person.
Andre:You avoid.
Malte :If you're afraid of dogs, you try to avoid the situation because you change the roadside. That's one of the behaviors. Yes, it's fight, flight and freeze.
Carlo :It's the ultimate. Yeah, you just don't do anything because you're scared to move.
Malte :Yeah, because you are very much aware about that. You will be killed soon, and so that is the limbic brain.
Carlo :That comes. It's the ultimate theory.
Malte :Because you know there will be a lot of hormones exposed that make you feel that you will, that you don't have the strong feelings about being eaten. Yeah, and it's very interesting to look at this science behind, but what we did not learn in our culture is to really face your fears, in that sense that you're trying to encounter it, and learn that this is a wrong belief, a wrong assumption.
Carlo :What is the wrong assumption? The fact that we cannot face fear. You are saying, actually it's wrong, we can.
Malte :Yeah, we can, yeah, we can. And what you can do is you can also dissolve that fear and whenever you get exposed again to this kind of fear trigger, you do not feel that fear again. And that holds true. You know, if very common fear is like stage fright yes, many people out there who do not like to expose themselves in front of other people.
Carlo :Yes, it's a very personal problem. It's common. Yeah, Even many CEOs. They go to coaches and I actually know some coach which will say, yes, and this person actually helps exactly in the public speaking.
Malte :Yeah, exactly Because the trigger here is mainly it's old patterns. That says you are boring, I'm not interesting enough, I have nothing important to say. There's so many core beliefs that are not necessarily ours but that have been imposed on us by our peer groups, society and family it's mainly family and any kind of other close people but you start to believe this because it's mainly not your fear. It could be just like your peer person's fear.
Carlo :Okay. So what I wanted to ask was all that you mentioned till now, actually all this spectrum of potential behaviors that one can have when encountering fear, and the fact that one can feel fear in the body somewhere. So you know it. Or you feel like when you said something that it wasn't quite right. You said something and you feel like, when you said something that it wasn't quite right, you said something, if you, oh, actually that wasn't, that was a bit of a lie and you feel like you don't feel good about it. Yeah, and the fact that that not feeling good makes you feel weaker. I always say these things, I said episodes. Or if you say something that is really true and you really believe, you feel stronger because you're really now.
Carlo :Uh, the but isn't that authentic also that fear? So, from one side, the uncomfortable feeling makes you feel like wait a second, I haven't been honest with myself, I haven't been honest with these people because I don't feel good about this. Right, can I fix it? Can I call back? Can I say sorry? I didn't mean that. Actually, what I meant is X, y and Z, because I've been there, I tried, I experimented this, and when I did this, I felt so relieved because it was like I'm clean. I don't have to lie, I'm clean.
Carlo :But this is a thought that occurred to me not long ago. I thought but, carlo, at the same time, the fact when you are feeling that fear, even that is not realistic. And it may be just something that you learn, that I've learned from family, like millions of other people, and we absorbed it subconsciously. We don't even know how, and then after decades, it's still there somewhere in the corner of our psyches and sometimes freezes us. But that fear feels so real. Now, for the listeners that are listening here and they are very interested in all that we are talking about what we are trying also to give to them is some example, something so that they can decipher it for themselves and they can try it. So, because for them it's really real, this fear, how can they, as you said, dissolve it? And so that they don't freeze or run away, but actually face it? Yeah, in your experience, because you've been around.
Malte :So first it needs a decision to say I would like to change something. Okay, that's the first thing. So I know people. Maybe you know also people. They, they are afraid of dogs, they are afraid of snakes, they are afraid of spiders whatever in in, I think in in a biologic terms, somehow it makes sense.
Malte :But but dogs and spiders and snakes are mainly in our western environment. They are not life-threatening. It does not make sense to run away or to stay away or being afraid of cats. Why that? Because, you know, we don't really, because we have been telling ourselves automatically a very, very old story again and again and again. Right, and we don't yet have a kind of emotional connection to a target state. How does it feel if I encounter this dog, snake, whatever, without feeling fear? We do not know how it feels. And this is one important feeling and one important trigger. And I said to myself so I was full of many, many fears and at one day I said I don't like it anymore. I really feel you took a stand. Yeah, I took a stand because I said I don't like it, because to me freedom is really important. I don't like to suffer from fear and I suffered a lot from fear. You know, know, I was afraid of spiders. I was not like phobic, like running away, but it was phobic about it.
Malte :I saw a picture of a big tarantula on your face on the website I would really have a look at it, because it does not make sense to be really to say, okay, this kind of it's ugly, it's disgusting it, this kind of it's ugly, it's disgusting. It's a kind of reflex. And I said, but, being in a jungle and in all kinds of nature and adventurous environment, quite a few times, and maybe more often than other people, I said it does not make sense. If I really I would try to have a look at it and I don't want to be afraid anymore. Because I knew it's humanly possible not to be afraid. Because there are so many other people, I said, okay, I would like to figure out how that works. And I did figure out. And there's always.
Malte :You have to understand, it's okay to be afraid, it's okay to have fear, but there's also a kind of let's say, it's a deviation of the noble truth of Buddhism. But you have to understand, you should understand that there is a path out of that fear into freedom. There is one for each fear.
Malte :You know, there are some it wouldn't make sense not to stay and try to talk, then it's better to run away.
Malte :But I think it's like 95 percent of our fears, it's something that hinders you, it's something that blocks you, it's huge obstacle and we do not yet have cultivated to dissolve this kind of fear. And to me and to my experience I have been exposing myself a lot to fear, to fear of heights I went parachuting alone. I wanted to pull the thread on my own. I was into free diving. I was into diving, first ice bathing, then swimming in the ice water, swimming in a glacier, and then the last thing I did was swimming in the ice underneath. This is crazy.
Carlo :I saw Wim Hof doing it. Yeah, it's feasible.
Malte :But it's feasible. I don't do it for showing off. Okay, to be honest, a little bit, yes, but it's feasible. Okay, this is…. I don't do it for showing off. Okay, to be honest, a little bit, yes, like 15, 20.
Malte :Okay, I'm just like I want to be honest, but really to me, I found out that it really helped me live more authentic to myself. I really want to like to be open with people and speak about my fears, speak about my desires, speak about my what, what I encounter as my weak side, and so, and it helped me and you know, at the end there's a kind of feeling, and the feeling to me is the let's call it like the soul or meter soul or meter that yes, you feel that you feel good.
Malte :Yeah, and that that is meter that you feel, that you feel good and that that is to me it's feeling understood not to be angry about maybe having not exposed something, so fear it's.
Malte :it plays a lot of anger also comes into play, you know, if you once again have encountered it plays. A lot of anger also comes into play, you know, if you once again have encountered a very shameful situation. I know people who are afraid of doves, you know, and to them it's sometimes. You know we have more than 450 official fears. People are afraid of their stepmother, people are afraid of that. They are being watched by ducks and it's an officially declared fear. There are more than 450 different fears, you know. You have to understand and there's a lot of suffering behind and a lot of shame behind. I think that's bad.
Carlo :We don't need it. It's not empowering at all. It makes you weak. It's disempowering. Disempowering, yes.
Malte :To me, one very important way is to maybe in order to give a little tool at hand is just to observe yourself during a day, better a week or two weeks, Whenever there's any kind of disturbing feeling. You know, if you're driving to work in the morning and you are stressed by this bloody car driver in front of you who is not driving faster. This is a very, very interesting impulse and that might be traced back to any kind of disturbing pattern you have Since childhood, maybe Since childhood, maybe, yes, since childhood, and you don't think about it because it's fully automized.
Carlo :Right right.
Malte :It's wired and wired and fight again in your brain. It switches on and just stays there. It's the same with fears. I know so many people with fears and they are not able to somehow encounter and tackle it because they have learned to feel that fear and they have trained themselves to suffer from that fear but to do nothing.
Carlo :And that's this kind of training I have to say quite honestly because, let's face it, I'm also doing this podcast because it's my own journey to unravel, to search, to learn, to grow. Um, always, we always grow, until the last day at least. Uh, that's. I think that's a life well spent. I actually was also, uh, in the exactly in that situation. I was, uh, living in the stagnating point where you feel like you're stuck and you cannot grow, you can't come out of it.
Carlo :But you said something very empowering earlier when you said I took a stand, I took a decision, I don't want to have any more fear. Probably at that point you thought as much as I can. You know, maybe I have 10 fears, maybe I'll get rid of two or three, but from now on, I want to take it on my hands, on my own hands, which means you're going to be responsible of your own growth Instead of leaving it to somebody else, whether it's family, it's a school, it's a coach, it's a society, whatever that is, or friend or wife or husband, whatever, right. You had a moment where you said hold on, a minute. I haven't seen myself improving for a while. I can't stand that sensation of feeling weak. I don't want it anymore. I feel embarrassed. I want to be able to speak to people, I want to be able to be myself, to empower myself. And you said no, I want to stop having fear. However authentic this feeling of fear was, you decided that it was giving you the alarm of actually, that's enough. So that's the first step is to take the stand, even if you didn't know at that time what to do.
Carlo :I guess Did you already know what you were going to do next, to be more authentic with yourself, because I guess you had opportunities where, maybe in your job, personal life or probably professional life, when you had to mold into a certain shape because they didn't want maybe I'm just saying they didn't want the full multi-spectrum of adventurer, but maybe they wanted a more business one or a more this and all that. And perhaps sometimes it felt a little bit tight and you had to fit. Or maybe you said, well, well, hold on a second. Now I don't have compromises. The way I am, that's that kind of job. That kind of part is not for me anymore. I'm not going to do it because it doesn't fit with my new myself, my authenticity, my being myself.
Malte :Yeah, something like this ever happened to you yes, yes, it happened like 15 years ago, and I was in a situation when somebody would have told me even 15 years earlier I wouldn't have believed it and I was working as a management consultant like 100%, and I was just like the perfect dream picture of maybe my mom, you know. And so I was wearing a very nice dress and I was four days per week at the client's side at the client's office, and I came back Thursday evening from the airport and I was going up the stairs here and I had my trolley in my hand and I thought to myself by going upstairs, I think everything should be fully okay now Because, you know, I was married to a fantastic woman and I still am, and I had a very sweet daughter. Now I have two and everything is just like in place. I live in a nice apartment.
Carlo :Everything is beautiful.
Andre:It is just like in place.
Malte :I love I live in a nice apartment. It's just like I think my mother would be very proud of me and she was and she still is. But something was missing. Okay, there was something missing, missing and I started to figure out what it was, and it was. I wanted to become a more creative person, I wanted to improve my photography, because I learned I really loved photography and I still do and I said, okay, I want to become a more creative photography person. And then I sat down and figured out how can I do it. So I would love to travel more. And so that's what I did. And, of course, a lot of doubts come into the place, not necessarily your own doubts, but I have a fantastic wife and she said well, you can test drive your dream. So if you want to become a professional photographer, test drive your dream. So if you want to become a professional photographer and I tried a little of many different things about to professionalize my photography by doing exhibitions, by submitting photos to all kinds of image databases.
Malte :This is test driving. It's test driving. And then I figured out there are these kind of you know, in Germany we say Diaschau or Diavortrag, so these are the kind of billboards that you can see at construction sites about Norway, iceland, right, right, and I said maybe this could be an idea, because I can present my pictures and my travel stories to any kind of audience, right, and I went into that and I found a very nice person and he became my mentor and he introduced me to that market, okay, and so there were many more steps in there, but I always was encountered with my fears what if I am not good enough?
Carlo :judged by people saying what are you doing? It's not good, yeah, it's even the hardest judge set in my brain right.
Malte :And then, you know, I read a lot of books and specific photography books. I went to a lot of exhibitions and, of course, I made a lot of executive work. That means you have to go out and take pictures, you know. And then I learned a lot about fears. So when it comes to portraits in any kind of country, you know, you see, you first you have a kind of inner picture. You see a person. You said, oh, this is this, this person is super picturesque, I really would like to take its portrait. But now you have to do kind of inner picture and then you have to make this inner picture a real picture. So that means I have to go over there and somehow, if I don't have an interpreter or translator, I have to make myself understood that I would like to take a picture. And maybe I will get refused, but I will go there and ask him. And what I learned is that many people have a very large vision. But one very important ingredient in photography is personal behavior.
Carlo :Tell me more.
Malte :So that means, okay, I see that person there and I have to go there and I would like to ask it. Maybe I don't speak the language, so I learn to get myself an interpreter. And then you have to somehow convince that person and ask if it's okay. It's not okay today, maybe tomorrow, maybe the people are busy, it doesn't feel comfortable. So how can I make him comfortable? And because I take his time and you know, if that, if that person is a trade person, I say I trade his time for any kind of things he will sell. So then I will buy something first, so to give this kind of you know, credibility, uh, credit, and then I say would it be okay if I take one or two pictures of you, because you really look nice? What are you doing in your life? First, ask some questions. Ask some questions about the personal background. Who are you? Where do you come from? Why are you doing what you do? What do you like about what you do? When people felt understood honestly, and then they become….
Carlo :Again, you were genuine. Yes, they felt that you were authentic. You were genuine, yes, yeah.
Malte :That I really I see you, I mean you, I'm interested in you, because we are both humans. And then I ask questions and I take notes, right, and then they ask questions and I take notes, and so people this is all what we have been talking about. We want to be heard, we want to be useful, we want to be seen. This is what I first give and then mostly, like in 85% of the situations, people allow me then to take their portrait.
Carlo :But I bet that a while back, before you tested on the road, like your wife said, it must have been not that easy to actually do such a thing, Because that's also a fear to be able to go out there and talk to people and take a picture. Of course, yeah, and also you know the fact of, but that's what you were feeling inside and you wanted to express. Like you said, you have many, many sides.
Malte :Yeah.
Carlo :And you now allowed, slowly, but now in this time, you've been able to explore many sides of yourselves.
Carlo :Yeah, a photography adventurers speaker, which is also one that I'm very interested because I was reading your website and, for example, on that part, because you know, being a coach myself, I you always, you always, uh, on the 360 degree, you always want to see what other people are doing, because it also there's always space to learn right, and you were saying there was a line that caught my attention which was saying, when I speak, I will deliver an impact within the session that I'm having, and I thought, okay, if this person is so confident to say such a thing, that means that this person must be really fitting in their shoes, in his shoes, like I say, being totally yourself, because you know what you have, and in order to connect with people, you've got to be honest, because that's what they will feel even before they look at you.
Carlo :They sense it right. Yeah, so now this for the listeners when we talk about empowering, disempowering, being authentic, being on your own shoes, being yourselves and being a speaker on stage, maybe some of our listeners wants to be as a dream to be a speaker on stage, or maybe as a CEO that wants to be better, what would you say? How could they make sure that they stay with their true self and not run off to what the book said and what the next management course said and what the boardroom says, but to stay within themselves and be and have that impact? Because you've been there, you talk about it on your side.
Malte :Yeah, so on one hand, there is something what I call it like. We can call it like soul. I think all of us we were born with this kind of cause and soul and kind of our essence, nostal and feeling. It's a kind of balance and it's a very strong reference point Because when we both go into a movie and you don't like it, there is a certain reference point in you where you say, no, this is not my movie, somehow it does not respond with me.
Malte :Same with music. So and then this same holds true for all kinds of topics you would like to convey, so that you really have to be honest with yourself that you say, okay, of course it takes a lot of exploring, so of course you need to learn and read a lot, watch a lot of different speeches to say and find idols and find people you really love to hang at their lips and learning from them. Go straight to the master. This one point If you have someone, go straight to the master and try to copy him one-on-one. You will never achieve to copy him one-on-one because you always add in, if you like or not, your own personal taste, which is great.
Malte :Which is great. There's so many examples, even in music. So we can go through so many music pieces where the composer said, oh, I was really inspired by the Beach Boys and really wanted. And then you listen to the track and, yes, if you know that he was inspired by the Beach Boys, then you will identify that song. But the song for itself. There's enough of our own colors and taste and flavor in there and a very shortcut is go to the master. So that's one point. And then, secondly, I think it's really easy to stay very true to yourself by always saying, okay, I have experienced this, this was a, it's a, it's a emotional, strong experience, be it like positively or negatively, both, and it has to be both sides. So you see that, both sides of the coin, yes, and it's very, and another point is, uh, yes. And another point is you have, so it's a recommendation. I only can speak for myself, but it's really super, it's really challenging, but you have to open up and it's something as a very important ingredient. It's the.
Carlo :ATL.
Malte :It's the so-called all-time low. All time, yeah, you have to expose. You should expose your all-time low when you felt that was the most embarrassing thing that you ever encountered, be it like in a private life or in your business life.
Carlo :Exposing what you mean, just to publicly talk about it, to talk about it.
Malte :For example, I put my. I put a photo of myself from the 90s and there was a fashion photographer and, in order to set the light right, he put me into the light and it was just like I had such a fluffy posture. It was so embarrassing to look at me with hanging shoulders and just like looking, with your head looking down.
Malte :I always would have loved to destroy that picture and then I decided to put it into my keynotes. So this was how I looked like. How many people did you have there? Sometimes hundreds. And you put yourself there Because then you know this is really making the connection, because all the spectators are not in for your story. They are always in for the same story and they're always just like trying to align and balance what they've seen. So how would I have decided in his situation? And then you show them your way. How did you get out of the deep valley? And maybe it was all this kind of other distractions and negative decisions and what you have learned At the end. There's only just like one or two impulses that you can offer to the people. It's up to them to take it, to take it away from them. But the more vulnerable we expose ourselves and this is also a very important point about authenticity, because personality is not about the good things, it's not about showing off. Look at how great I am, how good I can sing.
Malte :I've made five million of turnovers. No, I've been kicked in my ass, I've been divorced and I have lost millions of dollars and somehow I did not give up and I found myself out of this very deep valley.
Carlo :Well done. Well done If there is a Maybe, a secret is not the right word but if there is one of your approaches that you actually have used yourself to come out of a very difficult situation you said you lost money, you had difficult situations. What would it be? Because, if there is something that I would like to give to the listeners, to the interested listeners that really want to implement what we are talking about, because it's nice to listen to things, but one thing is to listen and then brush it under the carpet. Oh yeah, one day I will do it.
Carlo :But there are some people and I know there are some people that actually will implement it would say you know what I like, what these guys are talking about, and I want to take the easier, you know the lowest hanging fruit, the easiest Apple there, and put it into practice. And should that work, I'm gonna make the next step and then the next step, and then the next step. So what would it be For you when you went to actually your real experience, that picture that they're losing the money? What was it that make you react and organize the, the next, the next step that pull you out of it? Obviously, obviously you, you must have felt quite low, because that's human, you know.
Malte :Feel down, but somehow you stood up again yeah, yeah, so and and so there's, there are two, two time points and in in in the time frame where this, uh, all-time low happened. So these all-time lows or this kind of, let's say, learning situations, uh, this is one thing, because because I wasn't reflected at the time, and so that's a different thing. So, if you take it from the speaking perspective, if you want to expose something, be it, whatever it is, to the people, it always depends, of course, of the target audience and the topics you would like to talk about, depends, of course, of the target audience and the topics you would like to talk about. And I think it's it's it's really important to only try to only speak about the things that you have experienced, because absolutely all of us are here for a certain reason and it's on all of us, it's an invitation to find out why we are here.
Carlo :The point is, the world, the universe, will have us as we are, the universe will have it as we are, otherwise, authentically, genuinely us as we are, each of us as we are, here and now. But there is a lot of distractions that actually pull people away from who they are, because they want to fit some sort of ideal or you know. Welcome to the ego.
Malte :Yes, I think here, when you try to meet any kind of external goal that is not yours, the most important thing is your solo meter. You really have a feeling about if this is right, if this is your thing or not, and this is somehow implemented in us. It's there, it's talking to us in a very low voice In a very low voice.
Carlo :Yes, and many people are not used to listen to that voice.
Malte :They disregard it. You know, I've been to seminars where it's about money making, which is a fair point yeah, fair point and it's all about money making. Money making I've made like 500,000. I've made a million and two million like 500,000,. I've made a million and two million. I said to myself, yeah, that's okay, it's good to have like money. Money is a very, very nice energy, a very nice enabler to do things. You can do it. But money is always like it's a means goal, it's not the final goal, absolutely true. So I would and I say, okay, I can see your point, but I don't want to be in a kind of group where they're always speaking of and showing off about what big house they have, big car, they drive fast car, they drive money, because, okay, it's fine, you can do it. But to me it's a means, it's not the uh completed story, you know yeah, because people can get instructed.
Carlo :Yes, and, by the way, they've instructed yeah I've, I've experienced this.
Malte :I've met so many people you know they drive like p, like Porsche and other cars, and they said to me I don't know what, I did not. I always thought I would like it and then I bought myself a Porsche or whatever and then I said, yeah, but I didn't really feel it. So they did not buy the feeling. And the end decision and the end balance is the feeling. We have to talk about feelings, not about cars yeah, cars, four wheels. We don't have to talk about external things. We don't have to talk about whatever it is that is on the external world that we try to achieve, because other people keep on talking on us, trying to impose on us that the external things have meaning. No, they don't. So if they don't awake a certain positive feeling in you, then it should not be inside, inside ourselves. Yeah, it should not be your thing and you should stay away from it.
Carlo :But this is a very mature approach that you are having and this is I take it and I'm really enjoying this journey.
Carlo :We are having this conversation, this journey, but for some people that are so distracted that they can't hear that little quiet and wise voice that you're talking, your soul-o-meter, that, what would you say, is something that they can't hear, that little quiet and wise voice that you're talking, your soul-o-meter, that, what would you say, is something that they can do. Like, for example, if you go for a marathon, you know, and you've never jogged before, you're not going to start with 40-odd miles or kilometers, but you're going to go maybe half a kilometer, then a kilometer, then two, three, in this realm, the realm of listening to who we are, and that's the real, the true, real happiness. Well, feeling fulfilled when it's inside right, whether you have a bicycle, you have a Ferrari or you have a Porsche, as you said, once you can feel yourself inside. What would it be for you? Is it? Maybe a practice can be done? I don't know. I mean, it seems like you've done so many things.
Malte :I think one interesting thing that you can do is first take a decision to change something.
Carlo :I know this you mentioned many times. To really be honest with yourself, to change something.
Malte :Then secondly, look out for another person in a similar situation. Look out for another person in a similar situation and then you can get a little commitment to say, okay, let's have a call at the start, like 10 minutes per week, and we start about because I understand there are many people who are distracted.
Malte :We start about a certain format where we say, okay, the last time I really felt well and honestly felt well with high level dopamine, not like low level dopamine, just like scrolling uh hours on end through instagram yeah, make people happy, yes but being together with friends doing like beach volleyball or sitting in a bar exchanging some nice talks, having fun playing dart, playing games, chat and have one or two beers or maybe three, so what is this kind of situation where you really felt well and try to implement that more often, okay, so that's kind of easy to really understand.
Carlo :But we have to be careful because otherwise people go drinking two, three, four beers and then they get the message wrong. I know you don't mean this.
Malte :I don't think so because I think we have a lot of intelligent listeners here. And everyone knows when he really just feels right after. You know, when you get back home and say this was a really cool evening yes, this was just a really cool evening, yes, or this was just a really cool talk, or this guy, this woman really inspired me.
Andre:Yeah, or this concert was so good, and then?
Malte :try to make it more often.
Carlo :It's the first thing that is enriching, yeah, yeah. You come out of the situation of the experience that you feel enriched. Somehow, you feel you've learned something. There's something with you which is not external, right, it's internal, absolutely.
Malte :And it's very helpful to also combine the internal world with the external world, and I personally, I made some fantastic experience with a mastermind group.
Carlo :Okay, Tell us more, because this is totally new. So a mastermind group. So okay, tell us more, because this is totally new for, yeah, yeah, so a mastermind group.
Malte :So I met my mastermind colleagues uh, eight years ago it was, it was uh a consultancy week. Um that we learned a fantastic new format how to uh make more money with less effort as consultants.
Malte :That's nice and we learned a lot of skills and fantastic techniques by a fantastic guy I'm still in contact with. But we knew the hardest part is yet to come. So, when we are coming back from this one week into our familiar environment, all the people around us did not learn with us. We're the only ones, yes, and there's a huge threat that you will get back to default mode in a short amount of time, because all the people say what are you going to tell me? I didn't really understand it, but do you really think that it's worth pursuing it? But you have a good job.
Malte :There's a lot of people and, if you like it or not, you are dependent on them and and they are and they influence you, and it's really important to find yourself a mastermind group, so people who really commit a certain amount of time, maybe in the beginning, like each week for an hour, and then maybe two weeks, each two weeks or each month, and then to consequently implement what you have learned.
Malte :So you have to commit. You have right, you have to define goals, you have to consequently commit to your goals and you can openly talk about all the kind of things that happened in a good way, that happened a bad way and people are really there for helping you. And when you hear like the opinion of three people with huge life experience and and and you're listening to them, because when you hear like three people and they vote against an idea of yours, okay, then you are very likely to accept it. And I experienced it. I was really convinced about an idea and I was pitching it to my mastermind friends and they said nah, malte, no. And the other one said you don't really believe what you said. So what I've experienced was this and you say, okay, if it's a good friend, you know you're sitting in a bar and then other people came by and you cannot continue the conversation yes but here is really the time and space you can speak and the attention to really go into deep right and they're saying, oh, shit.
Carlo :okay, guys, okay, but they give explanations.
Malte :Yes, they give explanations and they just like. It's a very open, it's a very clear and super helpful, super, super helpful Because you need someone to commit to. It's also scientifically and evidence proven. When you have defined goals, it's a higher likability to really achieve it. But the highest likability to really achieve your goals is when you have a target and when you have to report about it periodically to a certain amount of people you're really committed to. This is also one of the most important parts of the most important task of a mastermind group. Fortunately, what happened is that we improved and widened all of our topics and then after one year, we were talking about all of our life topics. And then, after one year, we were talking about all of our life topics, and we still do to this day, after eight years, you still do.
Carlo :Yes, this is fantastic. Yes, I can relate to that in a much smaller way, but, for example, it has happened to me that maybe I don't want to go jogging, but I made an appointment with a friend and if I'm one minute late, I already get a text message when are you, it's much more likely to abandon and to cancel yourself than other people.
Malte :So that's a reason, therefore, why personal trainers? When you're trained as a personal trainer? Because it's so successful. Because personal trainers, if you call off your lesson, it's like 80, 90 dollars euros.
Carlo :Yeah, holds you accountable it holds you accountable.
Malte :Yes, if you try to make it yourself, you'll find so many excuses.
Carlo :Yes, yes, yes.
Malte :So easy to cancel, abandon yourself than any other person? Yes, and that's one of the success factors of the mastermind group as well, because you have many.
Carlo :well, all of you right, you are coaches and students at the same time of each other.
Andre:Yeah, this is wonderful.
Carlo :Yes, you are all. You are coaching somebody, but you're also being coached, yes, and the knowledge is always sharing and sharing, and you guys are growing because you're putting things, you're implementing things, so you're growing. You get new experience and then you come back the week after with new input, new data, and then everybody can analyze.
Malte :Yeah, it's dedicated only for this kind of purposes. Of course there's a little bit of chitchat and beside, but that's not the main part.
Carlo :So you are really 80% or more 90% is really for growth and exchange really serious. I have never been part of this group, so it's very interesting. Very interesting because, yes, this holds you accountable. And if you've decided you want to honestly, authentically connect with yourself, you say, yeah, I really want to do that, and you make your target, your objective, your goal public to this. You know, you speak it out to these people, then you can be held accountable. Or you said that the 1st of January you were going to have your new business website on and people can. Obviously there probably are people that have done it before yes, and they can tell you hey, that's the road, not that one, this one.
Malte :And they challenge you. They come up with any. Hey, that's the road, Not that one, this one, and they challenge you. You know we are talking about books. So what is the best book you have read in the last two months? And then people come up with some book recommendations and they can challenge you. They say to you what, Carlo, your website. You will have it ready by end of June next year. Come off, you can do it until the end of March. And the other people say to other yes, oh, so end of March is good. Yes, I think end of March, Come on, Carlo, you can do it yes. And then you say, yeah, okay, guys, I will do it. Yes, and it's great.
Carlo :It is great, it's great. It is great, something that you know genuinely. This is what you want to do, because there are many people that they might be doing something, but just because the mother or father or society, they do it because they think it's the right thing to do or it's the thing that brings them money. So, malte, this has been an incredible, incredibly interesting talk. What would be the last message you would like to leave to our listeners? Anything you like can be even more than one.
Malte :please feel free look out for the tingling sensation. That's a nice point. You know, if you, the next time you go into a club and you see a person you would like to talk to and you feel, ah, you feel this tingling sensation, it could be like that, it could be in any kind of social situation, go for it, do it, talk to that person and then you can go home and say, okay, at least I've tried it, I'm okay, yes, I've done everything that is in my power, and it's always just like a thing where you can learn. It's a little everyday task to overcome a little bit your personality and go a little bit outside of your comfort zone that is fantastic.
Carlo :Thank you so much, marte. One more thing I want to say to the listeners that they don't know yet, but actually the music that we've used for the intro and the outro today it's your own making, like you showed me last week. I loved it so much. Before we wrap it up, thank you for this music. It's wonderful. Just briefly, malte, as a musician and composer as well, tell us a couple of things and we close it with the music. One more thing.
Malte :Yeah, the same holds true for the music. So to me, this kind of music, I was always just like following this kind of solo meter. I think it's great to. It's to me like an exploration journey. I was tinkering around with different sounds and putting them together, which is like synthesis, and then something nicely happens and it only had. I was the only person who really had to like it.
Malte :So and this to me was the most important point you didn't care about, you, did it for yourself. Okay, I was. So as soon as my wife came back home, I was running behind her like a little dog and chasing her you gotta listen to this, you gotta listen to this. And then she listened to it and of course, to me, it's kind of important to me if she also likes it, which is mainly the case. So, but this to me also was a very important intrinsic work where I say the process itself is the reward and I put the music out and everything that happens after that is not of big interest to me. It's there, you can listen to it, you can like it, but you can hate it. Whatever, me, it's there, you can listen to it.
Carlo :you can like it, but you can hate it. Whatever, that's your own art. So thank you once again for the music and for your time. It's been incredibly interesting For the listeners out there. We'll meet again in a bunch of weeks. You know the drill now. So thank you, malte, thanks for having me. Thank you everyone. We speak next time. Ciao, ciao.
Andre:That's it for now. We hope you enjoyed it and if so, please share it with friends, give us comments and subscribe. Expect at least one podcast per month. Thank you you.
